My Blog

Before I get on with the meat of this post, I would like to go on record as objecting to the “seemingly normal” description of yours truly from Martyn’s first post – After 4 months together, I personally think that “normal” would have sufficed. I mean, I used a prince vs. frog analogy, with Martyn falling squarely in the former category. Perhaps “seemingly prince-like” would have been better for the purpose of this blog…hmmmm….

But I digress…

Honesty…yes, honesty is indeed the best policy. As it turned out, my insecurities about my physical appearance (my weight specifically) were unnecessary. And yet, as I sit here writing this, I still find the physical description dilemma a tricky one. Now, I’m certainly NOT advocating the use of pictures that are not you…or outdated to the point that your mother wouldn’t recognize you in them (mine were all from the previous 3 months or so). Nor do I suggest that you sugar-coat the description of yourself. THAT is just a recipe for disaster because, as Martyn has pointed out, you are going to meet this person eventually. That being said, if any of you are like me – my own worst critic – the “accurate” description of yourself could very well have your potential date heading for the hills BEFORE you even sit down to coffee date number 1. And let’s face it – it can be harsh world of critics out there…and I think that Martyn would agree with me that it is harder still for women – what with a rake-thin model on every second magazine cover, and skinny actresses filling small and big screens alike (not counting the token “plump” character actresses, whose storylines almost always revolve around their weight in some form – a popular soap opera has even written an actress’ real life laparoscopic band surgery into her character’s storyline). You just don't see that on the men's side, with thin leading ladies happily working alongside their pudgier leading men.

In MY defence, Martyn is particularly gifted in the “probing question” department, a trait I have come to appreciate immensely (no, seriously!!) as I have gotten to know myself better and address some of my baggage (yep, everyone has baggage!) over the course of our 4 months together. But back to my point…I wasn’t TRYING hide anything, but rather was uncertain (as many of you undoubtedly are) about how to describe myself accurately without throwing myself under the proverbial bus. And lucky for me, I met a wonderful, caring, intelligent, funny man who was able to see (AND point
out to me) my “beauty” – inside and out. And did I mention how sexy he is?


So, what’s the answer? Well, I would say that you should be as honest as you can in your description of your physical self, use recent pictures in your profile, and realize that what you look like on the outside is but one of many parts of your makeup. In realizing this, cut yourself some slack (Easier said than done – Believe me! I know!) and try not to define yourself and your “dateability” by the one part of your “package” that may not be what you want it to be. After all, you don't want someone (man or woman) who doesn't appreciate you for all your many qualities and quirks.

Back to us…

Coffee date number 1 went off without a hitch. Not surprisingly, our 3-hour phone marathons translated well to the in-person meeting. And our first real date (the 12-hour marathon that seemed to fly by without even one awkward silence) soon followed – and this on the heels of impromptu date number…erm…0.5. An unexpected cancellation in Martyn’s social calendar (read: cancelled previously arranged online dating site date) left us open to Friday night drinks (we both nursed one drink each all night, as I recall) and something in the vicinity of 5 hours of talking (in no less than 3 locations)! Impressive on its own, but more so considering we were going to spend the following day together – in its entirety…

More on that in future posts…