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A first date is tough enough when you already know who the person is, but when all you have to go on is a few pictures on a web site, meeting in person can be a nerve-racking experience. My usual on-line dating strategy is to go for a daytime coffee. The lack of romance and alcohol pretty much guarantees that the date won’t lead to sex, but I find that dating while the sun is still up seems to keep the stalkers at bay.

By the time I actually met Jackie in person, we were on day 9 since first chatting … and by chatting I mean averaging about 3 hours a night on the phone. Pretty wicked chemistry was brewing between us already before that first meeting. The first meeting went fantastic and we made plans for a LONG date the following weekend (our first date was 12 hours – but that is another story).

Ok, so what is my point here? Well, during the lead up to the first date Jackie was very careful to skirt the issue of her physical appearance. Don’t get me wrong, I know physical insecurity is a common issue with both men and women, but if you are planning to meet someone in person honesty is the best policy – I mean they are going to see you anyways right? And you know what, in the end it wasn’t even an issue! Confidence and intelligence are the most attractive things you can offer! So everyone reading this, stop obsessing over what the boy is going to think of your 10 extra pounds - your Ph.D. is much sexier.

So, honesty always in a relationship! About everything! Seriously people! My marriage ended because of things like this. When you meet someone and you present yourself to be neat and clean or career driven or into children, make sure you actually are those things. In the end if you aren’t the person you present yourself to be, that is the relationship killer – not the 15 extra pounds you are carrying around from the winter.

And by the way, Jackie is the most beautiful person I have ever seen, and it has nothing to do with what she looks like …